When someone breaks our heart, the pain of this rejection or betrayal can travel with us through time. One reason we can continue suffering years after a breakup is that we haven’t accepted and grieved the loss. We might want to avoid feeling the pain involved, or fear what will happen if we open ourselves to it. This fear and avoidance becomes the linchpins connecting us to this suffering.
Heartbreak Hotel is a CBT method with which we may step directly into the crucible of this suffering. We don’t do so masochistically, just to feel terrible all over again. We do it to open the possibility of experiencing what the Jewish youths in the book of Daniel experienced after being thrown by Nebuchadnezzar into the fiery furnace. They walked out free men into new lives of happiness and peace. Not always – but quite often – Heartbreak Hotel produces exactly this effect.
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